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Google Reviews Help 80% of Criminals Decide Which Prison to Choose

Excuse the title of the article, but it highlights just how ridiculous Google Reviews have become and why does Google My Business even allow reviews for a prison listing?.

The first clue for Google My Business should be in their own Business Guidelines, “n order to qualify for a Google My Business listing, a business must make in-person contact with customers during its stated hours”

Last time I checked this “businesses” customers were transported against their will and locked inside the business for a time determined by a another person, not related to the “business”.

Listing on Maps Yes, the ability to review NO.


Which Prison Would You Choose?

Prison Reviews on Google - Online Ownership


Yes allowing reviews on a prison is half baked, you either get parody reviews or people raging against the system. I swing by prison reviews every now and again and have them removed, but it gets pretty tiresome, come on Google sort yourself out.


For the Record

If I happen to be convicted and get sent to prison, I pick HMP Pentonville, it sound delightful.

“The food was the best food I’ve ever eaten. My room mate was friendly and only tried to stab me twice, which Is better than when I’m at home with the family!”

“Is a bit like Butlins which is well documented. Main similarity being that all residents should be euthanised as inhumainly as possible. Ho de ho”

“Choices on the menu were limited, but they say there is no such thing as a free lunch, but I would beg to differ”

“Toilets could be better, limited menu, but really great price and location”

“Meat feast. Best type of pizza, worst type of party.”